Rich: Mama just knew 'God makes no mistakes'

I wondered the other day how a mother could even think that, let alone say it. But then, Mama was a woman who defied exact definition. She was strong, smart, courageous, sometimes outrageous and, above all, ruled by a faith that simply was unbendable and unquestionable. That part of her was definable and clear. She believed unyieldingly in an Almighty God who never left her side. Even when it could have seemed that he did.

Her loss had been profound. Downright grievous. The pure wretchedness of the heartbreak had been hard to witness. I was the first one to glimpse it, watched as the pale shock of the horrible news settled over her face then dragged her shoulders from straight to weighted down. Dazed, she handed me the kitchen phone and silently shuffled away. I finished the call she had begun then found her in the den in her favorite chair. One hand was pressed to her mouth, as the first tear slipped from her eyes. Once that tear had been brazen enough to escape, others fearlessly flowed in rapid succession.

I sat down on a footstool and scooted it closer. I took one cold hand - like me, Mama always had cold hands - and held it while I stroked her leg with the other. "Oh, Mama," I whispered. "I'm so sorry. So very sorry. I know how this breaks your heart." Her face crumbled into the ugly cry and I joined her, saddened by her loss more than mine. After all, it was her son who was gone, a child she had brought into this vale of joy and grief. Sorrow rarely tempted her to tears, but this was different; this time it refused to be turned away by her famously steely resolve. It was the kind of raw sorrow that demands respect through the currency of sleepless nights and haunting pain.

The hardest thing I have ever faced was watching her grief, though she stoically sought to navigate around the bu

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